The holiday season is upon us, and despite the twinkling lights, joyful gatherings, gift exchanges, and Mariah Carey on repeat, it can also sometimes highlight the relationships we’ve put on pause. Falling out with family? Totally normal.
There are many reasons people fall out, but whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter as much as what you do now. Feeling like now might be the time to make amends? Equally normal—and kind of brave, to be honest. Let’s focus on rekindling that lost family connection and making this season a little brighter.
If you’re ready to dip your toes back into the family waters this Christmas, here’s your friendly guide to making it happen.
1. Reflect on What Went Wrong
Before you start dialing numbers or drafting a heartfelt text, take a moment to think about why you drifted apart. Was it a disagreement over something big? Or one of those “Wait, what even happened?” situations?
Understanding the why can help you approach this with some clarity and maybe a pinch of grace (yes, even if Aunt Linda was totally in the wrong).
📝 Pro Tip: Jot down your thoughts. You’ll feel like a philosopher sorting out your feelings—or at least like you’re acing emotional homework.
2. Lead with Empathy (and Maybe an Apology)
Look, no one likes to admit they might’ve messed up, but a little humility goes a long way. When you reach out, acknowledge their feelings and, if appropriate, throw in an apology. No groveling necessary, just sincerity.
📢 What to Say: “I’ve been thinking about us, and honestly, I miss you. I’m really sorry for my part in what happened, and I’d love to patch things up.”
(Side note: If your apology feels awkward, congratulations—you’re human.)
3. Choose the Right Medium
Let’s be honest—most of us aren’t living in a holiday movie where the hero shows up unannounced, drenched in snow, holding a bouquet of poinsettias, and gives a teary monologue that magically fixes everything. While that sounds cinematic (and tempting), real life often calls for a gentler, less dramatic approach. The goal here is to reconnect, not to create a viral moment for the neighborhood Facebook group.
That said, if cookies are your love language, by all means, bake your heart out. Just remember: the method you choose should feel comfortable for both you and the person you’re reaching out to. Here are some ideas to help you find the sweet spot:
- A Simple Text Message
Sometimes, all it takes is a short and sweet message to break the ice. Texting is low-pressure, gives the other person time to process, and can open the door to a bigger conversation later.
You can start with: “Hey, I know it’s been a while, but I’ve been thinking about you. How have you been?” or “Hi! I was just reminiscing about our old Christmas traditions and wanted to reach out. I miss you.”
The secret is to keep it light, honest, and warm—this isn’t the time for a novel.
- An Email for More Thoughtful Outreach
If texting feels too casual but a full-blown conversation feels intimidating, email is a great in-between option. It gives you space to express yourself and gives the other person time to read (and reread) your words before responding.
Email Tip:
Keep your tone conversational but genuine. Try starting with a warm holiday sentiment, share what’s been on your mind, and end with an invitation to reconnect. Something like: “I hope this email finds you well. With the holidays here, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I miss having you in my life. I’d really love to catch up if you’re open to it.”
- A Phone Call for the Bold
If you’re feeling confident, or if you know they’d appreciate hearing your voice, a phone call can make your outreach feel more personal. Bonus: You can have a real-time conversation, which can help clear the air faster.
Not sure how to start? Try: “Hey, I just wanted to call and say I miss you. I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I’d really love to reconnect.”
🚨 Pro Tip: If they don’t answer, don’t panic! Leave a warm voicemail and give them time to respond.
- A Handwritten Letter (Yes, Really!)
There’s something beautifully nostalgic about a handwritten letter, especially around the holidays. Taking the time to put pen to paper shows thoughtfulness and sincerity, which can be especially meaningful for mending fences.
📬 What to Write: Start with warm holiday wishes, share a fond memory or something you appreciate about them, express your desire to reconnect, and let them know you’re open to talking whenever they’re ready.
P.S.: Including a family photo or a sweet holiday card doesn’t hurt.
- A Thoughtful Gift or Gesture
Sometimes words aren’t necessary to say, “Hey, I’m thinking of you.” A small, meaningful gift, like their favorite holiday treat, a book they’d love, or a cozy pair of socks (seriously, who doesn’t love socks?), can go a long way.
Attach a note saying: “Just wanted to send a little something to let you know you’re in my thoughts this holiday season. Hope we can catch up soon.”
- Social Media Can Be a Low-Key Option
For families who regularly communicate through Facebook, Instagram, or WhatsApp, a friendly DM can be the perfect icebreaker. Reacting to a recent post or sending a holiday GIF can spark a casual conversation without feeling like a Big Deal.
- A Surprise Visit (Proceed with Caution!)
Okay, we said no dramatic doorstep scenes, but if you’re confident the gesture would be well-received, a surprise visit can be magical. Bring along cookies, a cheerful attitude, and zero expectations—because let’s face it, no one needs to relive Love Actually levels of awkwardness.
4. Keep Your Expectations Realistic
This is not a holiday rom-com where everyone cries and hugs under a perfectly falling snowflake. Rebuilding relationships takes time. They might not be ready to throw you a Welcome Back parade, and that’s okay. The fact that you’re reaching out at all is already a big deal.
🌟 Remember: Even if you get a lukewarm response, you’ve planted the seed. (Think of yourself as an emotional gardener. Cute, right?)
5. Focus on Shared Joys
Holidays are basically nostalgia’s time to shine, like the glittery star on top of the tree. Bring up a shared memory or tradition to melt a little ice. Who can resist warm fuzzies about that time the dog ate the Christmas ham, Uncle Joe accidentally lit the tree on fire, or when everyone stayed up way too late playing board games and laughing until their sides hurt?
Shared laughter over a lighthearted memory is a simple, heartfelt way to remind your loved ones of the good times you’ve shared—and it just might open the door to creating new memories this year.
📢 What to Say: “I was just remembering how we used to bake cookies together every Christmas. I’d love to do that again someday.”
If nothing else, you might get a laugh out of them.
6. Extend an Invitation
If things feel like they’re warming up, toss out a casual invite to ease back into spending time together. Keep it light and simple—think coffee at a cozy café, a short video call to catch up, or a laid-back holiday activity like decorating cookies or watching a classic Christmas movie. (Emphasis on low-key—this is about reconnecting, not staging a family edition of Survivor where everyone’s battling for emotional immunity.)
The key is to choose something that feels natural and enjoyable without adding pressure, so you can focus on rebuilding the connection one step at a time.
7. Respect Their Response
Here’s the thing: Not everyone is ready for a Hallmark ending right away, and that’s okay. Sometimes people need time to process your outreach, and respecting their boundaries shows maturity and care. The effort you’ve made is already a big step forward. Even if things don’t work out immediately, you’ve planted the seed for the future—and who knows? Next year, this might just be part of the story you laugh about together.
Final Thoughts
Reaching out to family during the holidays isn’t just brave—it’s also a little like wrapping a gift you’re not sure they’ll love. But here’s the thing: You tried, and that’s the real holiday magic. Whether you end up toasting with eggnog or just planting the first seed of reconciliation, you’ve already given something priceless: hope.
And honestly? That’s way cooler than another pair of socks.
Did these tips help? ❤️ If you’re inspired to take the first step toward reconnection, don’t stop here. Check out this heartwarming story about how a grieving family rediscovered their joy through the spirit of togetherness—only at PodiumExpress.com! Let this season be the one where healing begins! ✨
